However I do not like the fact that all I seem to have in the back of my mind is " I need to make something " and " Beads beads beads bloody beads " Addictive is causing my brain to hurt as all my ideas are merging , I then forget what I want to do , its ridiculous it really is.
But I am far happier thinking about beads rather than how homesick I feel at the moment. I had a good day on Saturday I thought its nice I can live here. Then Sunday morning and I wake up to this dread I have in the bottom of my stomach and its like " what am I doing here " " I want to go home " So since Christmas Eve I have had one good day and about 3 sodding weeks of this feeling in the pit of my stomach. I am hoping that as the mornings start getting lighter and the days last longer I can overcome this feeling , I really do because not feeling settled is not much fun, not when other members of your family are doing better than you as it gives a even more pressure that you should fit in and that your just being silly. So tonight I am having a small amount of wine with lemonade as I am a serious lightweight concerning drink instead of the hot chocy tonight. Much to the disgust of The Son as I will not be in routine of hot water bottle then hot chocy duty. Thats of course if I remember to have the wine in the first place.